WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

So we got through the pregnancy and birth but what do we do now?
Everyone wants to come visit, you have just gone through 40 ish weeks of pregnancy, have a baby who sleeps a little and feeds a lot, your hormones are going bonkers and you don’t have a clue what day it is (very normal by the way!!!).
All your friends and family are super excited to meet your wee one, everyone wants to help or visit but what is actually useful to you as a new family?

In the postpartum period after baby is born you still have to take time to get to know each other. Although you have grown and nurtured them, you all still need to get acquainted.

A friend mentioned a great thought which really resonated with me. To best benefit the mother you should spend 5 days IN bed, 5 days ON the bed and 5 days AROUND the bed. Our bodies have a lot of healing and rearranging to do, so be kind to yourself, give yourself time.  
There are traditions post childbirth across the world that vary greatly depending on your culture. Many traditions are modern, many come from many generations to make sure the mother gets the best care and attention to help then recover.

Around days 3-5 after having your wee one you may experience a big hormone level drop which can cause you to spend the day in an emotional state so maybe best to keep visitors out the house on those days!
I know we all feel so much pressure to have visitors but sometimes we need to start thinking of ourselves and our new family and our needs. Have an open honest conversation with your partner and see how they feel.

1. Do you want visitors in Hospital?

If you have delivered in hospital you can be there from around 6 hours postnatally to a number of days and it is your choice if you choose to have visitors. You may have had a c-section (major Surgery!!!) and might still be catheterised, you might not have seen baby yet and visitors might be asking to come and see you. Please have an open and honest conversation with your immediate family and let them know what is going to work for you. You won’t know until you have your wee one! In the longer term it is worth looking into C-section scar tissue massage as it can help the healing process. This can be performed by a professional as previously mentioned in my blog with Massage therapist Sam Williams.

2. Think about what you want to happen when you get home?

When I came home the first time I had literally just come out of hospital after being in for a week with a baby that was 6 weeks early, and my house was full! It was lovely to see everyone but you have to decide what is going to work for you. Do you want any visitors in the first week? Close family and friends only? I like to ask my clients what might you need? What would be most useful to you as a family

Here are a few tips that can be used to help & support a new family

• HUGS : Having a baby can be overwhelming so always offer hugs to parents as well as babies when you visit. Offer to make them a cup of tea, a drink or a snack whilst they hold their baby.

• FOOD : Many parents don’t get a chance to enjoy a meal together and sometimes forget to eat lunch, so when visiting take a meal with you for them to enjoy and offer to keep an eye on baby so they can eat whilst food is still warm

• BATHING : When visiting offer the chance to keep an eye on baby whilst giving new parents the opportunity to go have a shower or a relaxing bath. It is hard with a newborn to get the time to enjoy the small luxury that is bathing.

• SLEEP : Newborn babies sleep can be erratic which can lead to sleep deprivation in parents. Offer the chance for the new parents to go for a sleep whilst you keep an eye on baby in their own home. They will love you forever!

• MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL! We all want to be involved when a new baby arrives but talk to the new parents and ask what you can do to help. offer to walk the dog, take older siblings to the park, take the baby out for a 20 min walk in the buggy, bring a shop in or a pot of soup, consider your visiting hours and make sure they suit the family and not just yourself

From a visitors point of view be a considerate guest, do not outstay your welcome, do not hang about for hours unless asked, bring anything you can that may help, food, shopping, take away laundry ( I hear new parents love their laundry done and returned ironed!), be a help not a hinderance!

A shy wean doesn’t get any sweeties. Be clear and be concise. What are your wishes, when do you as a family want visitors, not what suits your visitors but what suits you.

But most of all enjoy your new baby, ask for help, it can be the hardest thing in the world to do but helps family and friends to be involved in a way that supports you best!